I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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