I puked a lego.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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