Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
