Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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