Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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