I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize