why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is Oprah even human
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
