When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
