just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
