Umm I'm too high to move.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
