I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
