Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize