My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
