i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
