I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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