a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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