i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
