Hey man sorry I got all grabby
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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