Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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