at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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