I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
