is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize