How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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