I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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