Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
