Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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