She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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