oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
