It's Friday. Sex?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
