And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
