Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
