i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
