Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
