I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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