my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
