I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
