Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize