dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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