Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
