i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
