I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
