I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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