I love black thongs
I can text with my tongue
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
