We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
