but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
