youre lurking in front of me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
