apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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