butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
