What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
