You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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