I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
