maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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