I hate your face
he shaved USA in his pubs
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
