I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
