oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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