remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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