i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
