Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just pee around me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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