ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
