when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
