Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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